Any "Good News"?
Looks like this is the best conversation starter people have devised for the likes of me! Friends and family alike seem to be obsessed with when Raj and me plan to start a family. But hey, wait a minute, aren’t some of these friends older than me if not as old as me or may be just a few months younger than me? But, "No ya, I haven't even found the right person, forget marriage, etc!” And since I decided to marry at 22, even before I attended grad school, I am supposed to be the 1st one to give them all the “good news”. Which reminds me, why don’t people spell it out? Though I still strongly maintain that it is none of their business, I’d still like some novelty in the way the question itself is posed!
It all began with me returning home after what seemed like the longest two years of my life (without Raj). Though super excited about being back with Raj, little did I know what awaited me (apart from the graduation celebrations)! Congratulatory calls ended with, “so now the line is clear!” instead of asking me where I was placed! A couple of months later, on my birthday, these calls translated to.. “So, planning eh? He he” (sic) And finally now that it’s been about a year we’ve been together (and almost three years of being married), the echoes of the constant questioning of the whereabouts of the “good news” can be heard far and wide!
At times, the irritation is quite apparent, but not always am I free to express it. Like this situation at one of the recent weddings I attended, the entire world seemed to be concerned about me and my “good news” alone. We’d traveled to Chennai (Raj's family's HQ) from Bangalore. Absolutely unarmed, I went along with my mom to greet Raj's grandma. A couple of other relatives (some I knew, most I did not) thronged her- I am baffled at the amount of respect Octogenarians in India receive cos I am not quite sure if they were treated with similar respect, while they were younger. Anyways- So I was asked to sit beside her. A little later when the crowds dispersed, while I was happily enjoying the cool air from the air conditioner (a rare feeling when you are in a marriage hall filled with 100-200 people in Chennai!!), the topic raised its ugly head out of nowhere.
“So when exactly am I going to see my great- grandchild!?” Me: “Uh- huh.. but grandma…” And then silence..
Raj’s mom was also with us and started looking hither-tether- Both the moms know exactly how uncomfortable this question makes me feel! From within, I was crying out to them to come to my rescue, but to no avail.
What followed was the longest 15-minute speel on how it was the right age, etc etc etc etc etc. Interestingly, it also included a quick snippet on how only those that see their grandson’s child are assured of entry into heaven! I wasn’t too sure if this one was seriously made up (since raj’s girl cousins have children). I mean, you must be kidding right? If only this was the lone criteria to enter heaven, we could just create generations after generations just to be assured a one-way ticket to Heaven! Somehow kept mum throughout the ordeal and suddenly Raj’s mom decides she wants coffee and asks me if I can fetch it for her! (We had had coffee before we entered 'war zone'!) Smart move, eh!?
I had some coffee sent to the room, left the mothers to the "hearing" and happily escaped into the wedding hall for the ‘Mehndi’ session, little knowing it was a mini-landmine I was stepping into. Being at XL let me miss a couple of weddings – it had its pros and cons- the con being suddenly too many people were too curious about Raj and me! The entire weekend (Tamilian weddings last two whole days!!!) was filled with many more “any good news?”, a personal counseling session by an older cousin (sister of course! thankfully rather) about how concerned the family was (About what, I do not know!!), and more such personal sessions imparted to me and / or the moms.
On our way to Bangalore, while the moms had nothing to say, I wanted to cryyyyy out and let the world know that…. I will, I hereby solemnly promise that I will share the “good news” as and when it comes! But you dare ask me this question and there surely will be some bad news for you and your family!!
On reaching Bangalore Cantonment, I called one of Raj’s aunts to tell her we’d reached safely.. And she says, “…. The next time we meet you, we want some “good news” from you”…… another round of "hmmmm hmmm.." ok tc before the phone goes blank!
It all began with me returning home after what seemed like the longest two years of my life (without Raj). Though super excited about being back with Raj, little did I know what awaited me (apart from the graduation celebrations)! Congratulatory calls ended with, “so now the line is clear!” instead of asking me where I was placed! A couple of months later, on my birthday, these calls translated to.. “So, planning eh? He he” (sic) And finally now that it’s been about a year we’ve been together (and almost three years of being married), the echoes of the constant questioning of the whereabouts of the “good news” can be heard far and wide!
At times, the irritation is quite apparent, but not always am I free to express it. Like this situation at one of the recent weddings I attended, the entire world seemed to be concerned about me and my “good news” alone. We’d traveled to Chennai (Raj's family's HQ) from Bangalore. Absolutely unarmed, I went along with my mom to greet Raj's grandma. A couple of other relatives (some I knew, most I did not) thronged her- I am baffled at the amount of respect Octogenarians in India receive cos I am not quite sure if they were treated with similar respect, while they were younger. Anyways- So I was asked to sit beside her. A little later when the crowds dispersed, while I was happily enjoying the cool air from the air conditioner (a rare feeling when you are in a marriage hall filled with 100-200 people in Chennai!!), the topic raised its ugly head out of nowhere.
“So when exactly am I going to see my great- grandchild!?” Me: “Uh- huh.. but grandma…” And then silence..
Raj’s mom was also with us and started looking hither-tether- Both the moms know exactly how uncomfortable this question makes me feel! From within, I was crying out to them to come to my rescue, but to no avail.
What followed was the longest 15-minute speel on how it was the right age, etc etc etc etc etc. Interestingly, it also included a quick snippet on how only those that see their grandson’s child are assured of entry into heaven! I wasn’t too sure if this one was seriously made up (since raj’s girl cousins have children). I mean, you must be kidding right? If only this was the lone criteria to enter heaven, we could just create generations after generations just to be assured a one-way ticket to Heaven! Somehow kept mum throughout the ordeal and suddenly Raj’s mom decides she wants coffee and asks me if I can fetch it for her! (We had had coffee before we entered 'war zone'!) Smart move, eh!?
I had some coffee sent to the room, left the mothers to the "hearing" and happily escaped into the wedding hall for the ‘Mehndi’ session, little knowing it was a mini-landmine I was stepping into. Being at XL let me miss a couple of weddings – it had its pros and cons- the con being suddenly too many people were too curious about Raj and me! The entire weekend (Tamilian weddings last two whole days!!!) was filled with many more “any good news?”, a personal counseling session by an older cousin (sister of course! thankfully rather) about how concerned the family was (About what, I do not know!!), and more such personal sessions imparted to me and / or the moms.
On our way to Bangalore, while the moms had nothing to say, I wanted to cryyyyy out and let the world know that…. I will, I hereby solemnly promise that I will share the “good news” as and when it comes! But you dare ask me this question and there surely will be some bad news for you and your family!!
On reaching Bangalore Cantonment, I called one of Raj’s aunts to tell her we’d reached safely.. And she says, “…. The next time we meet you, we want some “good news” from you”…… another round of "hmmmm hmmm.." ok tc before the phone goes blank!
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