It’s all in the Name

Two weeks ago, we hosted a lovely newly wedded couple for dinner.. Among the many conversations we had was about how complex life can be when one needs to undertake a name change - an addition or an edit rather!

He grew up believing that his name was spelt uniquely signified by birth certificate and many other subsequent documents cos his parents desired so.. (even though his name is a simple one! Hint - a famous comic character we all grew up watching)


Imagine his dismay, when he finds out his mom addressed him with the common spelling, at least on the contact list on her cell phone!!! All those years of correcting people to add the right vowels at the right place and convincing them, there was a reason behind the complexity in thy name flashed before him as he threw up his arms in the air as his mom sat there giggling it seems!


This was further accentuated with a saga of having his middle name noted in some documents, while it went missing (either by design or by default!) in many others, and how this almost cost him his 1st passport, and in turn his 1st job as a graduate - “I’d have been among those unemployed engineer, had the authorities not relented”, he claimed! 


We guffawed and laughed, little realising a similar saga was to unfold a fortnight later during my passport renewal..


With the renewal due in early Jan’22, I was proud at how I was proactively renewing it almost a month in advance (so unlike me!).. It was a plain-jane ask… No changes needed - neither any addition / edits in names, nor address changes! I pumped my fist in the air - “this is going to be simple”, I said to myself! Getting an appointment was a breeze too - everything was working like magic! 


I suddenly remembered my mom’s passport needed renewal too, like half a decade ago! My dad and brother warned me this was going to be a complex one - her old passport had my (late) grandpa’s name incorrectly spelt, and we’d moved homes from the time the document was made! The public utility bill that would serve as an address proof document had my dad’s name spelt incorrectly! Even worse, the ID proof that would serve as the right spelling of my grandpa’s name, had an error in my mom’s date of birth! So off we went to the passport office armed with proofs, and proofs for the proofs (whatever that meant!)


We waited for what seemed an eternity adjusting our masks and maintaining as much social and individual distancing as one could possibly maintain in a 40*40 sqft area filled with 100s of people.. By the time our turn arrived, we’d met survivors of delta & zeta, current carriers of Omicron, and potential invaders of Xi, oops Pi and Upsilon, or whatever other avatars, rather names the covidians were to don next!


The person asked for my docs - I beamed like an over prepared phd student at her viva, with a “it’s all done, professors” kinda swag! 

“Old passport please”, he said.. 

“ Here you go, sir,”

“Any changes needed?”

“None”

“Give me three ID proofs beyond the passport!”

(Now that’s way off syllabus - it’s in fact not even the right subject you’re quizzing me on!)

“Why sir?” I protested. “I just need it renewed. Even the expiry date is next month”

“We have to do our checks no!” I could sense his irritability.. we had a bigger battle to fight next.. I relented.

“Your PAN Card has an error in your father’s last name” 

“Yes sir - they added an O instead of D” (And it’s been that way from the time I got my 1st job 17 years ago!)

“You didn’t care to change it!?” I smiled sheepishly(not wanting him to know how uninterested I was in doing this humongous task of correcting a super-small error in a govt ID!!)

“Your DL doesn’t have your husband’s name in it” was his next observation.

“Yes sir - I got married a few years later. But my Adhaar card has his name and I have a copy of my marriage certificate!”

“Any other documents? Voter’s ID, idiya?”

(Now how do I explain to him that my super-simple name has been misspelt in this doc,,)

“No sir - I got only these documents,”

“Your passport can’t be done - please come back with the right docs!”

“But sir…..”

“There’s another application under your name - who’s that for.”

Regaining my composure, “It’s for my mother”, I said preparing for a bigger battle!

“Not renewed her passport cos of Corona, a!”

“Yes yes - we meant to do it a few years ago but couldn’t!”  (Thanking c-19 for these little mercies!)

“Any changes needed?”

“Yes sir - her home address needs a change and her father’s name has been misspelt in the expired passport!” (Crossing fingers, toes, eyes et al!)

“The proofs are not all accurate”, the officer says checking the gazillion docs we threw his way.. “But Ok no problem - we can help her! Go to the B counter, here’s your token number!”

“Nexttttttt” he yells as my mom nudges me to take her to the B-counter.. And just like that I’ve now got to run from one govt office to another “rectifying” my dad’s last name, my first name and adding my hubby’s name as required, while my mom has her renewed passport (riddled with guilt)..

Those of us that grew reading the epic Romeo and Juliet knew the dismay it caused when Juliet bemoans Romeo’s last name of Montague, her family’s sworn enemies! Luckily no blood was spilled in our cases - yet let’s admit “It’s all in the name, so get them corrected asap so all IDs read and spell the same names y’all!”


Comments

PPS said…
That's some adventure Nita! The passport 🏢 made me 🏃‍♀️ around a bit too because they didn't want to renew my passport at my premarital address. Ugh!

I kept 🤔 who's the comic character we grew up 👀. The names that came to me were Tom, Jerry, Scooby & Shaggy. I assume none of these were your friend's name. ☺ please please tell.

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