Corona Chronicles #5 You Wonder Women, you..

So as we head into 'Week Infinito of the Lockdown' (or so it seems!), I hope we women have learnt the numerous skills we clearly did not have an inkling for and/or realize we needed, in the past 2 - 3 - 4  decades of our lives .. 

I mean what has #Covid19 taught us if we have not been able to tick a bucket list such as this one on a daily basis to be a #WonderWoman..

1. Do 20 burpees right after waking up as the kettle boils and you ready yourself for Bartan, Jhaadoo, Pochaa!
2. Cook 60-minute crockpot meals that put the Michelin 7-star chef to shame!
3. Keep a neat germ-free home (includes a spotless kitchen sink and nice smelling bathrooms) even though your children think it's an endless vacation with minimal caveats and leave food & belongings all over! 
4. Bake those insta-worthy pastries and cup cakes!
5. Continue excelling at work while competing and running neck-to-neck with the girl-next-door / man-next-door who claims s/he's never been more effective or productive since s/he's cut down on the travel time (s/he now uses this time to read up and/or publish more reports / research papers as the case may be!!)
6. Play the role of an impeccable parent, home-schooling your children while ensuring just the optimum amount of screen time, the right amount of nutrition and the exact amount of physical activities (even though your apartment complex does not allow them even in the lobby outside your home!)  
7. Do the family dance at 6 pm sharp every evening for 15 minutes to be precise to ensure the physical, social and emotional well-being of your family is NOT getting impacted - You've got to let them know you're the Chief Fun Officer despite all the workload and uncertainty!!
8. ....., 9.....10001!!

Clearly, I'm Joking!! And if you DO know someone who's trying even three out of these 10001 to-dos, let her in on the following... What she needs to do is what many of us have learnt in the past few weeks/ months....This includes

• Saying a FIRM NO - To your family, your coworkers, your spouse, your children... It actually feels good AND they think twice before having unrealistic expectations of you.. Here's how it goes..

"No baby.. Mommy doesn't feel like cooking a meal right now.. So we will eat leftovers for dinner!"

"No buddy.. I cannot complete this work and turn this in tomorrow morning. And it's not my inability to prioritize or delegate. It's your inability to notice that I have been overwhelmed and overworked, so cut me some slack and give me a realistic timeline to turn this in."

"No sweetheart.. I will not run to the supermarket. It's your turn, and here's the list.. And please don't forget to pick up my favorite ice cream if it's back in stock!"

• Asking for Help - Reach out to your friends, family member and team members alike for help and clearly state what you need them to do! Working for 13-16 hours non-stop makes Jane a DULL & ANGRY person! This ain't some competition and there ain't no winners at the finish line.. In fact there's no bloody foreseeable end in sight in the 1st place.. Stock up that energy and the sanity for the long haul & ask for help! Like this...

"Dearest Hubby, Can you please load the washing machine/ Make Lunch today / Do the dishes after breakfast / Shower the kids / Mow the lawn/ Put the garbage out/ whatever it is that you want him to do" (P.S. 'X'teen years of being married must tell you, he isn't good at the guessing game, no!? :D)

"Dear team member, Rework & send the deliverable in a manner that's fit to leave your & my outbox. I'm not going to do your work for you anymore..  " (P.S. Get off that high horse, for you're not the only one with an infant/ toddler / children / caring for old parents / living alone! Covid-19 is the sad reality for ALL OF US! So let's be fair to the rest of the team AND me, and please contribute, unless you're considering planned/ unplanned leave..Now don't make me run productivity stats past you, please..)

"Sweetie, since you're on the way to the super market, will you pick up some milk cartons and a mop for me? And some onions, apples & bananas too please!" P.S. S/he'll only be thrilled to run you the errand since s/he knows you will do the same when s/he's too busy/ lazy to do it next week!

• Doing NOTHING once in a while - I'm serious.. Nothing like a few hours of doing nothing! Let the dirty dishes rut in the sink.. Let the wet clothes stay in the washing machine... Let the children play un-showered past lunch time... Let the table adorn the leftover food crumbs.. Just let it be! Fight those thoughts & the impulse to do this and more..

Instead indulge yourself - Read the unfinished chapter of that book you've been dying to finish... Binge-Watch those episodes of the sitcom your friends are discussing... Devour that bar of unopened Dark Chocolate you've been craving for weeks now (scared you'll put on more weight thanks to not exercising for weeks now).. Rummage through the insta feeds you've not followed for weeks now... Sing aloud & Record that song you've been humming when cleaning bathrooms.. Whatever it is that brings you Happiness & Joy!!

Go for it, #WonderWoman! If you don't do these things AND MORE #LikeABoss, #Covid19 hasn't taught you much! Let the world watch.. Let them think you've gone insane.. And let those lucky-*** colleagues who've "gained more time" to read and research, write this about you (hopefully they give you the credit, for once!!) For, 

This unending confinement without any help makes pregnancy & childbirth (and the confinement post that that most Indian moms subject you to!) seem like cake-walk! 

You've been doing far too many double shifts these few weeks... 

You've gone sleepless for way too many nights the past couple months.. 

You've been shouldering far too much of the household burden, work pressure AND the guilt & worry about the past and the future... 

All it's given you is a few extra kilos and 100 extra grey strands! 

And not to mention the high-pitched yells that the children no longer respond to and the anger & tears that your family thinks is your own doing cos of being over-worked... 

It's time you take some time off, sit back, relax and watch the imperfection go on... Everything can wait, trust me! 

#SchoolTime'sComing and many of us have got to re-energize and prep for online classes.. For, Children are going to be staring at the screen for 4 - 6 hours straight! 

For, Not even the headmistress you adore cos she seems to know-it-all as a mommy-of-three knows what this means to their well-being... 

For, she's doing her bit to ensure the show must go on! 

And you've got to do your bit - Muster the courage to ask for part-time, flexi-time, time-off - whatever it is that will help you balance and stay sane! 

For now though, go on and enjoy that huge scoop of Nutella that you picked up (along with the essentials of course!) and stood in a check-out lane for 25 minutes last weekend! 

For, You #WonderWoman, you! You were always multi-skilled, and you're doing just fine :-)